Imam Luqman Ahmad Mosque Without Borders

Actually there is no sunna of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم for buying a wife, because in Islam, a man doesn’t buy a wife. We don’t buy women, and we don’t sell them. In the religion of Islam, a man marries a woman who thereby becomes his wife.

Marriage is a contract, but it’s not a purchase contract; it’s a marriage contract, subject to marital law and ordinances.
That does not mean that there are no costs associated with being married, because there are. There’s plenty of costs and expenditures in marriage life. Too many to mention here. In fact, there is a lifetime of cost.

Still, marriage is not just a matter of dollars and cents, and it shouldn’t be positioned that way in our religion or our moral psychology.

No doubt, men must spend money on their families out of the means that Allah provides them. That’s a given. That is scripture. Even my 7 year old son knows that. But when a woman says that you need to make X amount of money to AFFORD her, better shop around, because now you’re a potential customer, not just a potential husband, and that’s not the way it’s supposed to work.

Men were not put on this earth solely to take care of women. Granted, duty towards your wife is at the top of the list, but it’s not the whole list. Men were put here to handle all their business, beginning with the Lord’s business. Which varies from man to man.

If a woman ties her obedience, to the size of your bank account, leave her on the shelf with the pricetag still attached As for a righteous woman as described by the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, a virtuous woman as defined by scripture, she is by far, a man’s best provision without question. She’s priceless.

In the hadith of Abu Hurraira in sahih al-Bukhaari, the Prophet said, استوصوا بالنساء خيرا (treat the women with good). So the best thing to offer a wife is your all around goodness (khair) , which includes, money, love, compassion, passion, maintenance, kindness, support, leadership, attention, advice, knowledge, sincere intentions, correction, Imamate, protection, boundaries, forgiveness, instruction, mercy, pardon, and intimacy. That is marriage. All of the above is part of the deen of Islam.

That is why the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “خيركم خيركم لاهله، و أنا خيركم لاهلي” ( the best of you is he who is best to his wife(s), and I am the best of you to my wives). Marriage is not one thing. Marriage comprises many things. We cheapen marriage when we make it all about the dollar. So let’s not do that.

Imam Abu Laith Luqman Ahmad
Imamabulaith@yahoo.com