Imam Luqman Ahmad Mosque Without Borders

Flattery is Free, Commitment is Costly: A Muslim Reality Check on Relationships

Just because he (or she) saunders into your inbox, and showets you gratuitious flirtatious via on social media doesn’t mean he’s contemplating marriage. Flirtatious engagement with the opposite sex with no intent on marriage is just something we do to pass the time. For some folks, simply fantasizing about marriage is about as far as they’ll go. Fantasy has become a pastime too.

But marriage? Marriage is serious business. If a dude is seriously interested in marriage, he’s going to put in out there from the jump. Same for a woman. Although sometimes a woman is more hesitant about getting to the point. If they’re not interested in marriage, in the meantime, people will flatter you all day as long if he knows that’s what you’re into. We live in the age of flattery. Flattery is like a drug these days.

Men will do that. We like to flatter women. I don’t know exactly why, it’s just something we do. Maybe it’s our vanity. And for some women, that’s all they want, all they’re ready for, and all they can give. Some women, and some men, aren’t looking for marriage at all, they’re looking for something else. But that’s another story.

Men and women play games with each other, that’s what we do. It’s the nature of our environment, and our jaahiliyya upbringing. Ma sha Allah. We do it in stages. When we’re young and innocent, we tend to play less games because we don’t know any. As we get older we can become experts at playing games. Then we get older still and we get tired of playing games. Then we get older still and we’re just plain tired. Lol

But if you’re a Muslim man or Muslim woman who’s really interested, and ready to be married. Have the right intention. Be serious about it. Have your heart and mind ready, and in realistic mode. Make an honest assessment of your condition. Then, when the opportunity comes, recognize it, make a decision, and depend on Allah. Try to get married before you get tired.

This is not gospel, it’s just one man’s perspective. Fear Allah best you can, trust in Him in all matters, be honest with yourself and never shy from repentance.

Imam Luqman Ahmad

Imamabulaith@yahoo.com