Imam Luqman Ahmad Mosque Without Borders

SPOUSE SHOPPING 101

Searching for a suitable spouse can be greuling. You have to do a lot of searchng, sifting, and testing. If you’re really seeking a spouse in this weird marriage climate, here’s a few tips for after you’ve gotten past the pleasantries of those first salaams, and howdies. Sometimes that’s as far as it goes. However, if you get past the hello salaamu alaikum, here’s a few tips to get you started. Wal Allahu al-Musta’aan.

1. Do a background check, including criminal record. If they’re on social media, start there. Sometimes it ends right there. People can reveal a lot on social media, even when they don’t realize it.
2. Check family background and upbringing. Never hurts. Lots of times the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
3. Find out what kind of Islam they’re on. It may not be the brand you seek in a spouse (and yes there are different brands out there).
4. Let your family meet them, even if your family is not Muslim (and don’t make that an issue). Your family cares about your well-being more that your potential spouse.
5. Meet their family. They should be close to at least somebody in their family. Check the overall vibe. If you’re too young to understand vibe. Go ask somebody.
6. Check reputation and references. This makes some people uncomfortable. So what. Check em anyway and while you at it, check i.d. and where applicable, check visa and immigration status. Take a look at that passport and green card.
7. Check health, physical and medical. Check medications, going therapy and if there is any doubt, check gender. And always ask about sexual orientation.
8. Also very important: Throughout the process, let them talk. People like to talk about themselves. Listen attentively.

That should get you started. The suitable mate shortage is worse than the housing shortage. Houses have to be certified for sale or rental. Hardly no one is certifying these wanna be spouses. Happy hunting folks.

Imam Luqman Ahmad

Imamabulaith@yahoo.com